Friday, 31 December 2010

News Years 2010 Resolutions: Review

My very first blog post was my new years resolutions. One year on, how did I do?

1) Continue being patriotic. Start using correct English spellings (realise instead of realize, organise instead of organize)
I think I have stuck to this very well. I never use a 'z' where the correct version is an 's'. Actually, I am even banned from making changes on WikiDictionary. On top of this, I have sent a strongly worded letter to an English crisp making company that calls themselves 'chips'.

On a low note, I have a draft of a blog post that I created a year about about being patriotic, that I haven't finished. This must be done.

2) Start investing in moral British companies.

I very nearly started investing in February. I went as far as to download an app on my phone to monitor stocks. Then I ran out of money. I still intend to, but I think this resolution should perhaps be put on hold for the moment.

3) Have no more than 8.5 hours sleep.

As a general rule, I have stuck to this. Not counting days I haven't felt well, or the odd day that I have been really hung over and stayed in bed, I haven't slept my life away like when I was at University.

4) Start boxing, with the intention of sparing somewhat competitively by next year.

On 22nd Feb I joined a boxing gym. On 8th October I won my first boxing fight. I surpassed what I thought I could do!

5) Learn the drums.

Aside from playing Guitar Hero at the start of the year... I haven't really made much progress here. It is still something I would like to do, but it's so much effort...

6) Cook something exciting twice a month.

I started off well with a strong month and a half, by making 'Goats Cheese and Pea Risotto', 'Spinach and Ricotta Cannelloni', and 'French Chicken in White Wine Sauce and Potato Dauphinoise', but all in all it has been pretty fail. Cooking is too expensive.

7) Make a website.

The website I was making was pretty much put on hold in March, though recently I have been learning new web technologies and programming techniques, and I am certain I will make positive steps on the website (which is yet to be announced) early next year.

8) Start to pronunciate correctly. No more lazy talking and mumbling.

I still mumble. I can't pronounce 'R's very well, and would like to get a speech person.

9) Sort out my finances.

I am very poor now. Enough said.

10) Try and read a book a month.

I gave up on this when I realised I hate reading. I got stuck on The Odyssey at the start of the year and gave up. I did read, and love The Lost World, but then I got part way and gave up on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

11) Start riding bike, with the intention of completing a 50 mile bike ride soon.

On the 18th May, me and Dan cycled 26 miles. We both got sidetracked, and then I was boxing training, and then it got too cold and snowy, but we certainly plan to do 50 miles soon. I count this as a success, since with the cycling to work and general fitness I am certain I can do 50 miles next year.

12) Although I don't really do it, exaggerate less.

I haven't noticed myself exaggerate much at all this year. I think this is a success.

13) Have less tolerance for people pissing me off.

I chose this resolution because sometimes I don't say anything back to people when they are nasty. I have made sure I haven't let people get away with rude remarks, as proved in a recent blog post when a police man was mean to me. This resolution has got me in a bit more bother this year at parties and club nights, but I think its worth it.

14) Start creatively writing in some way.

I am counting this blog. It has lasted a year now aside from a quiet period in the summer.

15) Be nicer to friends, cultivate more relationships.

I haven't stayed in touch with as many people as I like towards the end of the year, sadly. I have felt very rushed recently, and like I have lost control of the speed of my life. Deep... I know. Next year I will try harder to maintain friendships.

16) Learn IPA (international phonetic alphabet).

I started off well, I even printed out the IPA and learned a few things on it, though I promptly forgot it. I still want to learn it. It is on my 100+ Things To Do list, so will be done.

17) Keep traveling. Try and go to at least 4 countries.

This year I went to Prague (Czech Republic), Paris (France), Malia (Greece), Kaunas (Lithuania), and Marrakesh (Morocco).

18) Not take things like off the cuff comments to heart as much.

I have learned to be insult much, much better. A lot of people tend to say insulting things, thinking that I may not care, but this year I have been able to not let it bother me as much.

19) Make this year even better than the next!

This year has had progress. It has had some massive highlights that I think make it arguably better than last year.

Thursday, 23 December 2010

FFFF: Christmas Special (Results)

The results are in!

More shouts of it being 'a fix', but eff-off! I won! Well... Miranda Kerr won, but still.

Points breakdown:
Miranda Kerr - 14
Lucy Pinder - 13
Denise Richards - 9
Desarie - 8
Zooey Deschanel - 5
Katy Perry - 5
Keeley Hazel - 3
Gisele Budchen - 2
Tyra Banks - 1

FFFF: Christmas Special

I have decided to do an FFFF Christmas special!! For anyone who didn't read my blog 9 months ago, FFFF is Famous Fit Female Friday. Although it is Thursday today, it is still valid. If you want to participate, vote in the comments section for first, second, and third place.

Here are the nominees:

Denise Richards

Katy Perry

Lucy Pinder

Zooey Deschanel

Gisele Budchen

Miranda Kerr

Keeley Hazell


Tyra Banks

Get your votes in!

Monday, 20 December 2010

Blog Swap 2011: 3) Scam my way on the radio

I decided to participate in this years Blog Swap, which will be only the second time someone else has wrote something on my blog.

This post was created, lovingly, by Angela Kase over at so check her blog out. At some point today there may even be a post by me on there.

3) Scam my way on the radio

I’m not saying I’m an expert of Andy’s list but I achieved number three in middle school.

When I was in 7th grade I had a best friend named Stephanie Tassman. She brought me out of the trenches of loser-dom back in the 4th grade so I pretty much owed my life to her. She invited me to her youth group, she introduced me to boys, she helped me make friends. Finally, I had an ally in the world and my life was changed forever. I was no longer a loner. Somewhere around the 7th grade, things changed for us. We were no longer in the same class or group of classes. I never saw her.

At that time, though I was no longer the most unpopular kid in school, it was still socially acceptable and even preferable to make fun of me. I was still pretty low on the totem pole. Stephanie took this separation opportunity to betray me. It was purely a popularity move. She pointed, she laughed, she huddled with her new friends to talk about my long stringy hair, my anorexic-like body structure and just how darn annoying I was.

I was pissed. I decided to take matters into my own hands.

“Hello Y102, what’s your name?”

Me: “Hi, my name is Stephanie Tassman”.

“Hi Stephanie, what would you like to hear”

Me: “I want to dedicate a song to my love Ryan Walker.”

“Ok what would you…?”

Me: “I just love him so much. He means the world to me and I don’t know what I would do without him. I’m not sure what song but I want it to be telling me how much I care about him”

“Wow, this guys’ got it made. I’ll be sure to play a song that represents your love for him”.

Me: “Thanks so much”.

The next day at school I found out Stephanie was not listening to Y102 that afternoon because she was at cheerleading practice. But Ryan Walker just happened to be tuned in.

Of course I played it dumb at school. I was all like “how could she do that?” only to be met with “Angela, everyone knows it was you”. I had been so hyped up about exposing Steph’s long-time crush and dedicate “her” love to him on the most popular radio station in town that I had forgotten to take reasonable measures to disguise my voice. What do you expect? I was just a kid!

At lunchtime Stephanie approached my lunch table and started screaming at me, throwing death threats and some four letter words my way, but the damage was done. Her crush was exposed and my revenge was complete.

Today I look back and remember that questionable move with a little embarrassment. When you achieve an incident found on the 100+ Things to Do List, it’s not something you’ll soon forget…especially since I have it all on tape. At least I had the sense to do that.

That is pretty epic revenge if you ask me!

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Parking B*stards.

One thing that really irritates me is when people, on a small car park with pillars every three spaces, park in the middle space. This then makes it difficult for the next two other people to park. I always park on one of the outside spaces, close to the pillar, meaning only the third person finds it difficult.

This morning, I was shocked to see that literally every car had done it. The lazy, selfish f*ckers.

Rant over.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Phileas Fogg and his WikiDiction Sentence... Part 2

"Phileas Fogg can be described as being a stolid, arcane, reserved, wanderlustuous, expeditious, untoady, indomitable, burnished, hyperopic, magnanimous, well-mannered, benignant, abstinent, daedal, intrepid, fecund gentleman."

Some long time readers may possibly remember my post... 'Phileas Fogg and his WikiDiction Sentence' in February. Much has happened in the world of my Phileas Fogg sentence since. Here is a small update.

The sentence had remained on Wikipedia for some time, untouched. One day, somebody decided to try and improve on the sentence by alphabetising it. Shortly after, one individual, known to his friends as 'Bigturtle' decided to be a Bigturd and delete it, claiming it to be a 'well-meaning, frivolous' sentence. I again reverted it, and he undid it again. So I put it in the overview, where it currently stands.


The sentence was loved, and adopted by a 'Jerry Anboerman', a resident of Twitter. Jerry too, like Phileas Fogg, thinks he can be described as 'a stolid, arcane, reserved, wanderlustuous, expeditious, untoady, indomitable, burnished, hyperopic, magnanimous, well-mannered, benignant, abstinent, daedal, intrepid, fecund gentleman'.


Most excitingly, the sentence sparked debates in none other than the famous Word Reference Forum. Users argued whether 'daedal' was actually a word (yes, it is), as one gentleman has decided he wants to use it in everyday speech.

One man goes on to question the sentence, but compliments the use of 'untoady'.

A hateful fellow then tries to insult the use of 'wanderlustuous', a word I made up. I shall do another post on why this should, in fact, be a word.

Personal Use

It is used on the personal website of a Nathan Maxwell Cann, in what appears to be an essay about Phileas Fogg.

Our Friends in the East

I found the sentence used on a Japanese website. I would be very grateful if anyone is able to translate it and tell me the context.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Google is messed up...

I don't have much more to say about this.

Fun with the new Facebook layout

While I am poor over Christmas, I have to find new ways to entertain myself.

Monday, 13 December 2010

December Playstation Night: Highlights

Saturday was another Playstation night, where I had my nephews over to play Playstation, watch Match of the Day, play more Playstation, then watch Mr. Bean.

We just started a game, in which Logan had a character that was wearing a disco suit.
Logan: Look at me! I'm Funky Jackson! I'm Funky Jackson!
Me: ..? Who is Funky Jackson?
Logan: ... I am...
Me: No... I mean... who, or... what is Funky Jackson?
Logan (in a tone that made me sound stupid): He is a  funky... and called Jackson...

Sam giving me a Kinder Egg toy, that took me about half an hour to assemble.

Charlie: Charlie Smart won! Charlie Smart is the best.
Me: Don't refer to yourself in the third person.
Charlie: What is the third person?
Me: It's when you call yourself 'Charlie Smart'
Charlie: But I am Charlie Smart.

While watching Match of the Day, the camera went onto a woman in the crowd, wearing a bad Santa suit.
Logan: Look! Look!! It's Santa! I didn't know Santa was a football fan. Next time I see Santa I am going to say 'Santa! I didn't know you were a football fan!"

And as an added bonus... Here is Charlie playing in goal.

Friday, 10 December 2010

"I'll crush ya car"

My very first ever blog post was my New Years Resolutions, one of which was:

13) Have less tolerance for people pissing me off.

Today, while driving back from work, I got in a bit of a mishap with another driver. The route in which I take home involves you having to almost blindly pull out into a three lane road, blocking the first lane while you frantically try and get into the second lane (as the first is for left only turns). Most drivers know this, and most quickly let you in.

This driver wasn't most drivers... as I went to pull in a two-car space he quickly sped  up to stop me. Already being mostly in, and not wanting to cause more of a queue behind me, I carried on in. Then he flashed his blue lights. It was an effing unmarked police car.

He pulled up alongside me, rolled down his window, and started having a shout at me, ending with "I will crush your car". Big mistake. Not wanting to antagonise him where he can pull me over and give me a ticket, I smiled and drove on, but still remembering my New Years Resolution.

When I got home, I promptly called the police, complaining about the threatening behaviour of the officer, and that people who are employed to serve and protect the public shouldn't shout immature threats from their car window. I gave them the time, the road, and most importantly the car registration.

I was phoned back shortly after, by a high up police woman who said she would call the man in question, and in her words "give him a kick up the backside" as "regardless of whether he has had a bad day, he shouldn't act like that". She also said to make more of an issue she will contact his sergeant and get him to tell the nasty man off too.

I'm not against the police, but I can see why some people are when you get ones like that... but the people I spoke to after seemed really nice.

So... Me 2, Police Man 1.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Not a Good Morning!


For starters.. I woke up too late to have a shower, or get any food for dinner. I left the house, forgetting my wallet, and went to get into my car, to find the door frozen shut and the windows entirely frosted both inside and outside. To top it off, my car was blocked in, apart from a Cougar shaped opening to get out of.

I had to get Melissa out of bed, in her dressing gown, to help guide me out.

I also had no defroster or scraper, so all I could do is pour hot water on as I was already late... which didn't at all help for the inside of the car, which as you can see, made it so I could see little-to-nothing of the 3.5 mile journey to work. Highlights of the journey being driving blind around ever corner, and nearly scratching all the side of my car going up the spiral thing in the car park.

Anyway, rant over. 

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Zombies, Nerds and Sluts

The people over the road are having a 'Zombies, Nerds and Sluts' party. I decided to go as all three.

Friday, 3 December 2010

Tonights Boxing Fight

Yesterday morning I found out that the guy I was meant to be fighting has been rushed to hospital with a kidney infection, so I won't be going against him after all. I was offered a new opponent, but it is someone that I haven't sparred with before, and his style would require me to be really fit, and keep moving a lot. I wouldn't usually turn him down, but I didn't want to accept it on the grounds that there is a good chance I would lose, but deep down I know that if I had more than a week to train for the fight I would win.

I have said I will be a stand-in, and I have brought my boots and gum shield in case somebody backs out last minute. I am hoping I don't have to fight, and can watch the event with a couple of ciders instead.

Last nights dream

I rarely have nightmares, but last night I woke up twice after having them. I decided to write them here, for no real reason...

I was at a friends house for the first time. I spoke to her parents, and it all seemed okay. Then it was a bit of a party, and we were downstairs and all was good. Not quite sure what happened then, I maybe knocked something over, but possibly not. Then her parents hated me, and told me how they thought I was boring, and not very nice... and then the girl decided they were right and decided she hated me too, and kicked me out.

I was over her house to watch boxing (Amir Kahn was fighting someone), and just managed to catch the first few seconds as I was leaving, where I saw Amir Kahn knock the guy out in seconds. I then tried to rush home to catch the fight after it. 

When I got in my car I reversed, slightly bumping into a house. Strangely, the house, as if it was 2 dimentional, fell backwards flat, knockig over a small community of houses behind it. I got out the car and tried to apoligise, and all the people around said how much they didn't like me too.


Wednesday, 1 December 2010

First Snow Day of December

I was lucky enough to have the day off work! I went to pick Sam up, then we had a snowball fight.

And then warmed up with tea and biscuits.

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Movember 2010

It has been a hard month, with regularly being called a sex offender or a paedophile. The moustache didn't help either. It helped me fit in a bit more in Morocco (or Mo-rocco... the joke that didn't once get old). I got many weird looks off people, and it would always take me a while to realise why. All to raise awareness for prostate cancer during Movember.

Tomorrow morning it will be shaved off.

...Possibly. There is a tiny chance I may bleach it and dress up as Hulk Hogan on Friday.

Our Family Portrait

Wow! Not long since my last family post and I am doing another. Anyway, for my mom's 50th birthday I gave her a 'family portrait voucher'... which is me writing on a piece of paper that I will pay for us to have a family portrait.

The reason I decided to get her this is because in our house we still have pictures of the portrait we had when I was around 3-4 years old. I actually still remember having it done!

I thought it would be nice to have a newer one to keep, of us more grown up. Here are the pictures.

The whole family

Me and my sisters Vicky and Carly.

Vicky, Sam and Ellie.

Carly and Paul's baby, Savannah.
Me and my sisters again.

Logan and Charlie
All the children. I love Charlie's face.
All the children again, with Charlie pulling another cute face.

Carly, Paul and Savannah.

Logan, Carly, Savannah, Paul and Charlie.

On a side note, Carly and Paul got engaged last week! He proposed when he took her for a meal for her birthday. Woo!

Monday, 29 November 2010

An Evening ... Wasted?

Sometimes I get bored. This particular time I had a banana on my desk... which gave me an idea. I rushed downstairs, picked up scissors, a pen and paper, and some fruit and vegetables and went to work.

... every few seconds I giggled.

I have a few other pictures somewhere, I think one had a mad scientist onion. I'll try and find them.

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Announced: Second Boxing Match

After fighting and winning in a boxing event in October (video and pics here) I had decided to skip the following show, and train hard and fight again in March. This would give me a bit of a break from the intense training, and allow me to become a better boxer. Over the last few weeks I have been trying to take on guys in the higher weight category, as that is my biggest weakness.

Yesterday it was confirmed that one of the guys fighting in the show has broken a few ribs in training, and I will be stepping in with 7 days notice to fight this Friday! Scary stuff. This time the fight will be in Oceana, another big club in Birmingham.

I have been training hard since the last fight, so my boxing skills are sufficient.. but my main worry is my fitness. The guy that I am going against is a pressure fighter, so I will be using a similar game plan to the last one, but going to have to conserve a lot of my energy.

Anyway. Wish me luck!! Here is the original poster, but with an edit I have just made:

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Drinking Game: The Two Towers

Here is a drinking game for any Saturday night parties! It is based on other pyramid drinking games, but I made my own variation to make it a two (or more) player battle.

The rules are as follows:

Players: 2 (+ viewers)
Duration: Depends how unlucky you are
Drunkness: Depends how unlucky you are

1) Two players should sit at a table, facing each other, with their drink of choice next to each other (i.e. beer or spirit and mixer).

2) Shuffle a pack of cards. If there are viewers then shuffle the jokers into the pack too.

3) Deal the cards out into a two sided pyramid, i.e. 5 cards in front of each person, then 4cards above them, then 3, then 2, and then in the middle of the table will be 1 card.

4) Place a shot glass on top of the middle card, filled with the spirit of choice.

- At the start of the game each player, at the same time, turns a card from the bottom of their pyramid.

- If the selected card is a face card (Jack, Queen, King) or an Ace, they drink 1 or 2 fingers of their drink (decided before the game begins). The dealer then picks up the card, and any card on their side of the pyramid, shuffles them back into the remaining pack, and deals replacement cards to those missing. Whoever picked up the face card begins the game by picking the next card, from the base of the pyramid.

- If the selected card is a Joker, all people watching the game must take a shot. All cards are picked up and re-dealt and the game begins again.

- If no face card is picked up, the player proceeds to the next level of the pyramid. The players will simultaneously pick up cards until a face card is found, at which point that player picks the next card first.

- When a player reaches the top of the tower he or she must turn card. If the card is not a face card they win, and the opponent must drink the shot. If it is a face card, that player must drink the shot, have their upturned cards removed and replaced, and start again from the base.

- If both players reach the top at the same time, it will be decided on the flip of a coin which colour (red or black) the player represents, and the winner will be the same colour as the card.

This game got me very, very drunk in Morocco last week. Have fun, and drink semi-responsibly.

Friday, 26 November 2010

The Blanks, Live in Birmingham!

For those who don't know who 'The Blanks' are, they are the hospital band off Scrubs, fronted by 'Ted'. In reality, The Blanks are an amazing A Capella band that Scrubs decided would be good to put in the show.

I have loved The Blanks for years now. I first bought their album 'Riding The Wave' on the 25th of July, 2005. At first they are funny to listen to, but they are actually really, really good.

I had emailed them a couple of times saying "Come to England!!!", so I was really excited to see that they had planned a few dates around the country, and quickly got tickets. And last night I finally got to see them.

There is no such thing as a peacefull A Capella gig.

I might as well start with what happened at the end of the night, and then say about the rest, as that is the most interesting thing. We (me and Melissa) had got in unnecessarily early, maybe kind of hoping that the earlier we get in, the earlier they will play and we can go home and sleep ready for work. Anyway, this meant we were in quite a good place in the audience. Unfortunately, there was a guy next to us that decided he wasn't in a good enough place, and wanted to push us across.

He started off with standard slight movements to the side, taking any opportunity to take another step, and when we held our ground started leaning into us. Eventually he was pushing into Melissa more and more, until she had a go at him. This didn't stop him at all, he started doing it more, so I pushed him across. Which lead to me, him and Melissa arguing. He then called Melissa a "f*cking b*tch", so I pushed him and told him not to speak to her like that, and Melissa punched, slapped and scratched until his friend got in the middle. Go her.

I usually don't agree with fighting in clubs (I generally won't back down, but I don't agree with it...), but he really deserved it. Melissa had scratched his arm quite nastily, which you can see from the photograph I took.

At the end of the show he turned around and said something and it all kicked off again. Melissa landed another few good hits!!

Now, as people should know, I'm usually positive and don't often rant on here... but I think I am just too old and bitter now. While we were waiting I had a fat girl leaning her thighs up me, just to try and edge in front of us in the queue. When we were waiting for the band to come on I had a guy pressing his cock against me. There is never, ever a need to stand close enough to someone that they can feel your sack.

The Blanks were expectedly amazing, though the night was perhaps dampened by the 100s of drunk students who thought it was a karaoke and decided to shout along. It's fine when people sing along, but don't try and compete. The Blanks have a lot more experience at singing their A Capella arrangements, it's probably better to leave them to it.

Secondly, why watch the whole thing through your phone? Half of the people could see fine, but instead opted to hold their phone or camera up, blocking the view for anyone behind them, and watching it though that. Taking a few pictures, and maybe a quick video is fine, but really? The whole thing?

Anyway, is a *short* video I took.

Thursday, 25 November 2010

My 'Movember' Mo' Mocked

Thats right. The mean people at work have mocked my Movember moustache.

... shame on them.

In other news. One of them has left the Mother of all Pubes on the toilet seat.


Boxing: 6 Months of Sparring

I have now been sparring 6 months! Initially my aim was to just have a boxing fight, win or lose. Then my aim was to try and be the best under 168 pounds at the gym. I kind of have a new aim, but I want to see how I progress a bit.

Anyway, the training has been going really well, and I think I am getting better and better each time. More recently I tried to address my problem that I get owned by anyone that is bigger than me (due to me having the longest reach in my weight category), so I have been going to a different class, and sparring guys that are bigger than me.

The guy in this video is a really good boxer, and could pick me apart at any moment. He is mainly working on his defence and counter punching, and I am just trying to land shots on a guy that can hit me twice before I get close enough to hit him once.

I am hoping to have my second fight in March, and hopefully a third fight in the summer.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

I have a friend named Leigh

I decided to make a tribute to my friend Leigh, as I have known him all my life, and he's generally always up for going out for a few drinks.

... and also because there has never been a more appropriate song.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Marrakech, Morocco: My Memoirs

On Wednesday the 17th of November 2010, me, Rob and Joe flew to Marrakesh, donning our best moustaches for 'Movember'. Here are my memoirs.

- Landing and it not being freezing cold like in England.

- Successfully arriving in the Medina, then realising Rob left his bag at the airport.

- Having no little change at the start, and conveniently, neither did any shop keepers.

- Being lead through the dark winding alleys of the Souks to our hostel, past scary looking people who I thought were going to rob us.

- Getting into our amazing hostel room. Felt very, very Moroccan. It had no lock so we used a padlock.

- Wandering off into Marrakesh to get food. Being authentic and ordering Spaghetti Bolognese, and then deciding to have another main course of Pizza!

- Trying to find a bar to drink in. Going into a belly dancing place, where Joe bought a round of 3 beers that cost around £16.

- Spending the next day wandering around the city, looking at the tombs and destroyed castley-thing. Not knowing what can and can't be bartered.

- Being amazed at how much it is like Aladdin, with people hiding in dark alleys whispering "hashhheeesshhh".

- Jumping in the ice-cold swimming pool. I think it is possibly the coldest thing I've ever been in.

- Trying something more risky on the menu, and it turning out to be an amazing Lamb Tangine.

- Having a 'couple of drinks' on the night. Ending up playing my 'Two Towers' drinking game, and getting stupidly drunk.

- Finding myself very, very drunk, sitting in a market eating little sausages, with Rob speaking fluent Spanish, with no recollection of getting there and thinking to myself "I have to get out of here to be sick".

- Running back to the hostel, being sick, and venturing out to find my friends, but taking many, many wrong turns. "One wrong turn in the Souks and you'll be lost forever".

- Using a photo I took earlier of the view from a building to try and drunkenly find the bar my friends might have gone to. Good idea, badly executed.

- Drunkenly "Excusey-moi... ou est la 'Main Square'?".... "Go down that alley, take a right." ... "Merci, si vous plait".

- Feeling hung over, out of it, and entirely ruined and asleep on Friday. Wandering around the Souks to see if I could figure out the layout. I couldn't. But I did manage to just about stomach and egg, potato and oil sandwich.

- Rob, the guy loves a pudding.

- Going on a coach trip. Sitting in front of two very annoying Americans, but also two very nice ones.

- Walking along a make-shift bridge over a river, really high up.

- Climbing up a mountain to find a waterfall near the top... then paying a guy 5 Dinah to use his ladder to climb up further. Amazing views.

- Captain Vestman riding a camel. My camel kept making noises and I was scared... but the American guy we met had to get on a really crazy one. As I was getting off mine after it went mental, jumped up and tried throwing me off, but like a cowboy I held on.

- Being thrown out of a shop while negotiating costs, with Joe having his arm slapped in the process.

- Buying authentic Moroccan Muslim clothes, or 'Jedi outfits' and wearing them when we went out around the markets.

- "Ey, Italiano? Espanol? Ey! Moustache!"

- Enquiring about the price of a wooden snake. Deciding I actually had no use for a wooden snake, but being locked in a bartering match for one, with me saying "I don't want one. No. No price." and the man then giving me one for free and walking off.

- Going for a Hamam body scrub. Crawling up the walls as she started scrubbing my feet, then feeling like I was going to die from the heat when I was left for ages.

- Everyone asking if we needed help with directions. Most of them were probably nice, but it's hard to trust them after a child said "Fuck your mother" when he asked us for money (we didn't actually ask him for any directions, he just pointed).

- Snake charmers putting snakes on me and Rob.

- Moroccan sales tactics... "You give me good price. This not same same. This hand made, no machine. Moroccan man spent two days carving this. You give me final price. Not possible. You give me final, final price. I come down, you give little bit more. Just a little bit more. No? Fine, you leave. Wait wait.. give me money".

- "You give stupid price. You are children. You little children, treat me like child. You go play in the square with the snakes. It better for you. It better for me!".

- Being called a 'Berber' after some harsh bartering.

All in all, it was a very nice country. Surprisingly clean (didn't see one rat or cockroach), but with an annoying vibe where everybody seems out to try and make money off you.