Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Movember 2010

It has been a hard month, with regularly being called a sex offender or a paedophile. The moustache didn't help either. It helped me fit in a bit more in Morocco (or Mo-rocco... the joke that didn't once get old). I got many weird looks off people, and it would always take me a while to realise why. All to raise awareness for prostate cancer during Movember.

Tomorrow morning it will be shaved off.

...Possibly. There is a tiny chance I may bleach it and dress up as Hulk Hogan on Friday.

Our Family Portrait

Wow! Not long since my last family post and I am doing another. Anyway, for my mom's 50th birthday I gave her a 'family portrait voucher'... which is me writing on a piece of paper that I will pay for us to have a family portrait.

The reason I decided to get her this is because in our house we still have pictures of the portrait we had when I was around 3-4 years old. I actually still remember having it done!

I thought it would be nice to have a newer one to keep, of us more grown up. Here are the pictures.

The whole family

Me and my sisters Vicky and Carly.

Vicky, Sam and Ellie.

Carly and Paul's baby, Savannah.
Me and my sisters again.

Logan and Charlie
All the children. I love Charlie's face.
All the children again, with Charlie pulling another cute face.

Carly, Paul and Savannah.

Logan, Carly, Savannah, Paul and Charlie.

On a side note, Carly and Paul got engaged last week! He proposed when he took her for a meal for her birthday. Woo!

Monday, 29 November 2010

An Evening ... Wasted?

Sometimes I get bored. This particular time I had a banana on my desk... which gave me an idea. I rushed downstairs, picked up scissors, a pen and paper, and some fruit and vegetables and went to work.

... every few seconds I giggled.

I have a few other pictures somewhere, I think one had a mad scientist onion. I'll try and find them.

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Announced: Second Boxing Match

After fighting and winning in a boxing event in October (video and pics here) I had decided to skip the following show, and train hard and fight again in March. This would give me a bit of a break from the intense training, and allow me to become a better boxer. Over the last few weeks I have been trying to take on guys in the higher weight category, as that is my biggest weakness.

Yesterday it was confirmed that one of the guys fighting in the show has broken a few ribs in training, and I will be stepping in with 7 days notice to fight this Friday! Scary stuff. This time the fight will be in Oceana, another big club in Birmingham.

I have been training hard since the last fight, so my boxing skills are sufficient.. but my main worry is my fitness. The guy that I am going against is a pressure fighter, so I will be using a similar game plan to the last one, but going to have to conserve a lot of my energy.

Anyway. Wish me luck!! Here is the original poster, but with an edit I have just made:

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Drinking Game: The Two Towers

Here is a drinking game for any Saturday night parties! It is based on other pyramid drinking games, but I made my own variation to make it a two (or more) player battle.

The rules are as follows:

Players: 2 (+ viewers)
Duration: Depends how unlucky you are
Drunkness: Depends how unlucky you are

1) Two players should sit at a table, facing each other, with their drink of choice next to each other (i.e. beer or spirit and mixer).

2) Shuffle a pack of cards. If there are viewers then shuffle the jokers into the pack too.

3) Deal the cards out into a two sided pyramid, i.e. 5 cards in front of each person, then 4cards above them, then 3, then 2, and then in the middle of the table will be 1 card.

4) Place a shot glass on top of the middle card, filled with the spirit of choice.

- At the start of the game each player, at the same time, turns a card from the bottom of their pyramid.

- If the selected card is a face card (Jack, Queen, King) or an Ace, they drink 1 or 2 fingers of their drink (decided before the game begins). The dealer then picks up the card, and any card on their side of the pyramid, shuffles them back into the remaining pack, and deals replacement cards to those missing. Whoever picked up the face card begins the game by picking the next card, from the base of the pyramid.

- If the selected card is a Joker, all people watching the game must take a shot. All cards are picked up and re-dealt and the game begins again.

- If no face card is picked up, the player proceeds to the next level of the pyramid. The players will simultaneously pick up cards until a face card is found, at which point that player picks the next card first.

- When a player reaches the top of the tower he or she must turn card. If the card is not a face card they win, and the opponent must drink the shot. If it is a face card, that player must drink the shot, have their upturned cards removed and replaced, and start again from the base.

- If both players reach the top at the same time, it will be decided on the flip of a coin which colour (red or black) the player represents, and the winner will be the same colour as the card.

This game got me very, very drunk in Morocco last week. Have fun, and drink semi-responsibly.

Friday, 26 November 2010

The Blanks, Live in Birmingham!

For those who don't know who 'The Blanks' are, they are the hospital band off Scrubs, fronted by 'Ted'. In reality, The Blanks are an amazing A Capella band that Scrubs decided would be good to put in the show.

I have loved The Blanks for years now. I first bought their album 'Riding The Wave' on the 25th of July, 2005. At first they are funny to listen to, but they are actually really, really good.

I had emailed them a couple of times saying "Come to England!!!", so I was really excited to see that they had planned a few dates around the country, and quickly got tickets. And last night I finally got to see them.

There is no such thing as a peacefull A Capella gig.

I might as well start with what happened at the end of the night, and then say about the rest, as that is the most interesting thing. We (me and Melissa) had got in unnecessarily early, maybe kind of hoping that the earlier we get in, the earlier they will play and we can go home and sleep ready for work. Anyway, this meant we were in quite a good place in the audience. Unfortunately, there was a guy next to us that decided he wasn't in a good enough place, and wanted to push us across.

He started off with standard slight movements to the side, taking any opportunity to take another step, and when we held our ground started leaning into us. Eventually he was pushing into Melissa more and more, until she had a go at him. This didn't stop him at all, he started doing it more, so I pushed him across. Which lead to me, him and Melissa arguing. He then called Melissa a "f*cking b*tch", so I pushed him and told him not to speak to her like that, and Melissa punched, slapped and scratched until his friend got in the middle. Go her.

I usually don't agree with fighting in clubs (I generally won't back down, but I don't agree with it...), but he really deserved it. Melissa had scratched his arm quite nastily, which you can see from the photograph I took.

At the end of the show he turned around and said something and it all kicked off again. Melissa landed another few good hits!!

Now, as people should know, I'm usually positive and don't often rant on here... but I think I am just too old and bitter now. While we were waiting I had a fat girl leaning her thighs up me, just to try and edge in front of us in the queue. When we were waiting for the band to come on I had a guy pressing his cock against me. There is never, ever a need to stand close enough to someone that they can feel your sack.

The Blanks were expectedly amazing, though the night was perhaps dampened by the 100s of drunk students who thought it was a karaoke and decided to shout along. It's fine when people sing along, but don't try and compete. The Blanks have a lot more experience at singing their A Capella arrangements, it's probably better to leave them to it.

Secondly, why watch the whole thing through your phone? Half of the people could see fine, but instead opted to hold their phone or camera up, blocking the view for anyone behind them, and watching it though that. Taking a few pictures, and maybe a quick video is fine, but really? The whole thing?

Anyway, is a *short* video I took.

Thursday, 25 November 2010

My 'Movember' Mo' Mocked

Thats right. The mean people at work have mocked my Movember moustache.

... shame on them.

In other news. One of them has left the Mother of all Pubes on the toilet seat.


Boxing: 6 Months of Sparring

I have now been sparring 6 months! Initially my aim was to just have a boxing fight, win or lose. Then my aim was to try and be the best under 168 pounds at the gym. I kind of have a new aim, but I want to see how I progress a bit.

Anyway, the training has been going really well, and I think I am getting better and better each time. More recently I tried to address my problem that I get owned by anyone that is bigger than me (due to me having the longest reach in my weight category), so I have been going to a different class, and sparring guys that are bigger than me.

The guy in this video is a really good boxer, and could pick me apart at any moment. He is mainly working on his defence and counter punching, and I am just trying to land shots on a guy that can hit me twice before I get close enough to hit him once.

I am hoping to have my second fight in March, and hopefully a third fight in the summer.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

I have a friend named Leigh

I decided to make a tribute to my friend Leigh, as I have known him all my life, and he's generally always up for going out for a few drinks.

... and also because there has never been a more appropriate song.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Marrakech, Morocco: My Memoirs

On Wednesday the 17th of November 2010, me, Rob and Joe flew to Marrakesh, donning our best moustaches for 'Movember'. Here are my memoirs.

- Landing and it not being freezing cold like in England.

- Successfully arriving in the Medina, then realising Rob left his bag at the airport.

- Having no little change at the start, and conveniently, neither did any shop keepers.

- Being lead through the dark winding alleys of the Souks to our hostel, past scary looking people who I thought were going to rob us.

- Getting into our amazing hostel room. Felt very, very Moroccan. It had no lock so we used a padlock.

- Wandering off into Marrakesh to get food. Being authentic and ordering Spaghetti Bolognese, and then deciding to have another main course of Pizza!

- Trying to find a bar to drink in. Going into a belly dancing place, where Joe bought a round of 3 beers that cost around £16.

- Spending the next day wandering around the city, looking at the tombs and destroyed castley-thing. Not knowing what can and can't be bartered.

- Being amazed at how much it is like Aladdin, with people hiding in dark alleys whispering "hashhheeesshhh".

- Jumping in the ice-cold swimming pool. I think it is possibly the coldest thing I've ever been in.

- Trying something more risky on the menu, and it turning out to be an amazing Lamb Tangine.

- Having a 'couple of drinks' on the night. Ending up playing my 'Two Towers' drinking game, and getting stupidly drunk.

- Finding myself very, very drunk, sitting in a market eating little sausages, with Rob speaking fluent Spanish, with no recollection of getting there and thinking to myself "I have to get out of here to be sick".

- Running back to the hostel, being sick, and venturing out to find my friends, but taking many, many wrong turns. "One wrong turn in the Souks and you'll be lost forever".

- Using a photo I took earlier of the view from a building to try and drunkenly find the bar my friends might have gone to. Good idea, badly executed.

- Drunkenly "Excusey-moi... ou est la 'Main Square'?".... "Go down that alley, take a right." ... "Merci, si vous plait".

- Feeling hung over, out of it, and entirely ruined and asleep on Friday. Wandering around the Souks to see if I could figure out the layout. I couldn't. But I did manage to just about stomach and egg, potato and oil sandwich.

- Rob, the guy loves a pudding.

- Going on a coach trip. Sitting in front of two very annoying Americans, but also two very nice ones.

- Walking along a make-shift bridge over a river, really high up.

- Climbing up a mountain to find a waterfall near the top... then paying a guy 5 Dinah to use his ladder to climb up further. Amazing views.

- Captain Vestman riding a camel. My camel kept making noises and I was scared... but the American guy we met had to get on a really crazy one. As I was getting off mine after it went mental, jumped up and tried throwing me off, but like a cowboy I held on.

- Being thrown out of a shop while negotiating costs, with Joe having his arm slapped in the process.

- Buying authentic Moroccan Muslim clothes, or 'Jedi outfits' and wearing them when we went out around the markets.

- "Ey, Italiano? Espanol? Ey! Moustache!"

- Enquiring about the price of a wooden snake. Deciding I actually had no use for a wooden snake, but being locked in a bartering match for one, with me saying "I don't want one. No. No price." and the man then giving me one for free and walking off.

- Going for a Hamam body scrub. Crawling up the walls as she started scrubbing my feet, then feeling like I was going to die from the heat when I was left for ages.

- Everyone asking if we needed help with directions. Most of them were probably nice, but it's hard to trust them after a child said "Fuck your mother" when he asked us for money (we didn't actually ask him for any directions, he just pointed).

- Snake charmers putting snakes on me and Rob.

- Moroccan sales tactics... "You give me good price. This not same same. This hand made, no machine. Moroccan man spent two days carving this. You give me final price. Not possible. You give me final, final price. I come down, you give little bit more. Just a little bit more. No? Fine, you leave. Wait wait.. give me money".

- "You give stupid price. You are children. You little children, treat me like child. You go play in the square with the snakes. It better for you. It better for me!".

- Being called a 'Berber' after some harsh bartering.

All in all, it was a very nice country. Surprisingly clean (didn't see one rat or cockroach), but with an annoying vibe where everybody seems out to try and make money off you.

Friday, 12 November 2010

My Nephews and Nieces

I realise I have never actually wrote a blog about my sublings, aside from mentioning them in the occasional post.

There are five of them and they are all amazing. I feel very close to them all, and try and be a good uncle.

Logan (7)
When Logan was younger his [twat of a] dad left for somebody else. I tried to be more of a dad person for him, which meant I could shout and be angry, and him still like me! Now my sister is with a great guy called Paul, who we all love.

Logan is naturally really, really good at computer games. This may sound irresponsible, but when he was 3 he loved aeroplanes, so I installed Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and saved the game far into the desert, next to an airstrip, and showed him how he could get in to planes. I didn't think for one second I would come back and find him in the middle of a police station, throwing petrol bombs at people!!

He picks things up very quickly, and it has got to the point that if I am stuck on games I can often leave it with Logan for him to do... which is quite bad considering I see myself as being good at them.

Charlie (5)
Charlie, Logan's brother, is really cute and really funny. Half of the time it is accidental, and says some amazing things. The other day I accidentally upset him because I said I was going out, and he said "where you going?" and I told him, and he said "who you going with?" and I answered, then he asked something else along the lines of when I'll be back... and I laughed and said he sounded like my mom... and he went in a bit of a mood and didn't want to talk to me.

He really looks up to Logan, and tries to copying everything he does. If he sees somebody upset Logan he will fly into a rage. One time I shouted at Logan for making Charlie cry, Logan started crying, so Charlie ran at me and started punching me saying "don't make my brother cry". Cute.

He can usually be found sneakily mocking crying children the other side of the room, complete with quivering lip and hands.

Sam (5)
Sam is Logan and Charlie's cousin. He is currently back at my parents house with my sister, so I see him the most. He is less interested in computer games than the other two, and usually more happy creating things, and he's really good!

Once, at school, they were told to make something. I think they were told it couldn't be anything violent, so Sam made a bridge for cars to go over. Except it looked like, in every single way, a gun. When he showed me it he said "look at me gun.. I mean.. bridge".

He likes dressing up and having his face painted, and pretending to be a monster. He does karate at the moment with Logan (and they are doing really well), but I think he could be a good boxer!

Eloise (1)
Eloise was born on my graduation day. My sister was nice enough to go into labour pretty much while I was on stage.

She is the first baby girl we have had in the family for a long time (since my older sisters). I'm pretty sure for the first few weeks I didn't see her awake. And then it was weeks after that until I saw her cry. She is almost always smiling, and gives cute little shy looks.

I had to include this picture, because although she's crying it's really, really cute.

Savannah (1)
Savannah was born shortly after Eloise. My sisters were fortunate to have boys at the same time, and then girls, so they will grow up being really close.

Savannah is also really sweet, though she seems shy with me a lot. Although she is only 1, you can already tell how much she loves Logan and Charlie, and is always laughing when she is with them. More recently she has warmed to me a bit more, and we had a nice game of hide and seek a few days ago.

She pulls a really cute face where she ruffles up her nose and breathes fast through it.

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

You are what you eat...

I had been meaning to log what I eat at some point so I can monitor it. Over the last week of October (25th - 31st) I logged absolutely everything I consumed (excluding water).

The outcome was this:

Calories: 24,207 (14,000 recommended)
Carbs: 2,636g (2,625 recommended)
Fat: 670g (630 recommended)
Protein: 744g (350g recommended)
Sugar: 1,059g (280g recommended)

And I would look like:
5 Microwave meals
4 Weetabixes
2 Baked potatoes
6 Slices of pizza
1 Pork chop
1 Chicken samosa
1 Potion of chips
2 Portions of French Fries
3 Pieces of Chiken Pakora
1 BLT sandwich
1.5 Egg & Cress sandwich
1 Tin of Baked Beans
1 Mashed Potato
1 Frozen Vegetables
1 Savoury mince
1 Greggs Chicken Bake
1 Chicken Fajita
1 Beef Hotpot
2 Bananas
4 Slices of Nutella on toast
2 Slices of Peanut butter on toast
6 Bags of crisps
1 Peporomi
1 Large bag of salted popcorn
14 Malted Milk biscuits
6 Fig rolls
5 Digestive biscuits
2 Shortbread biscuits
51 Mini Celebreation chocolates
22 Pieces of Haribo
2 Chocolate truffles
1 Tub of Ben and Jerrys
2 Mini chocolate bags
1 Chocolate Fudge Crunch
1 Jam Doughnut
1 Fondant Fancy
5 Cups of tea
5 Creatine drinks
3 Protein shakes
8 Cans of Coke/Fanta
1 Can of Red Bull
10 Pints of cider
5 Shots of Whisky
3 Shots of Sambuca
1 Pint of lager

'Blacking Up'

I decided I will blog about this... since it had caused much debate in my house previously. It had all but being forgotten, until I have just noticed that a certain, easily offended, white skinnend blogger has 'unfollowed' me, due to blacking up. I won't say who, but it was one of the people who commented on my last post (where I dressed Antoine Dodson).

It all started when Amy decided she was having a 'countries' fancy dress party. Me, loving Cameroon, at first considered 'blacking up' and going as something from Cameroon (maybe Eto). A couple of my house mates said that blacking up is offensive. This set me off researching whether it is offensive.

My argument for it not being is that if you aren't doing it maliciously, or with any intent to offend, then there is no reason why it should offend. Personally, I find it more offensive saying 'white people can only dress as white people, black people can only dress as black people'.

I understand the argument with classic 'blacking up' with minstrals, and the assumption that black people cannot play the part... and that it was used to mock them, but have we not moved on from those times? Should these feelings constantly be held even though the world has moved on?

Anyway. The research. The first thing I found was an article on The Telegraph website, entitled "Why 'Blacking Up' White Actors Isn't Necessarily Racist". The article mentions a French director who couldn't find a suitable black actor, so used a darker skinned white actor. I am shocked that they couldn't find a suitable black actor, but I know little about French cinema, and perhaps that was the case. I am certain it wasn't due to being racist.

More recently in the film Tropic Thunder, Robert Downey Jr was blacked up, and he received an Oscar nomination.

Then I came across the story of the Conservative Minister who went to an 'influential people' party dressed as Nelson Mandela (complete with dark skin). This was in the newspapers quite a lot, branded by some (I imagine mostly white) people as 'racist'. This was until Nelson Mandela himself spoke in the mans defence, saying:

We don't see any harm in this whatsoever. If it was a fancy dress party and people were expected to arrive as a character or famous person, we are convinced there was no ill intent behind this.

I think if someone is able to pass judgement on the situation... Nelson Mandela is the man.

So, back to my Halloween costume. I was a little bit worried about 'blacking up', as some people can be over-sensitive. Beforehand, I spoke to a few of my black friends to get their opinions. Everyone of them said that if I am going as that character, I would be stupid not to (though stronger language was often used) and that nobody would know who I was without.

So... if black people are not offended by this, why is it that white people seem to be?

Tuesday, 2 November 2010


This years Halloween I dressed up twice!! How exciting! I wasn't going to go out on the Friday night, but Rob convinced me to dress up, and using his previous costume I went as Alex DeLarge out of A Clockwork Orange.

We had muchos fun in Snobs. Which for me is a rarity.

On the Saturday night I decided to dress up as Antoine Dodson. For those who don't know who he is, here is a picture. If you search YouTube for 'Bed Invader' you will see the song he is from.

Mee! Even slightly blacked up! Complete with rolled up piece of paper prop. Lots of thanks to my mom who made the head scarf using a pillow case and white paint, and used her make up to make me darker (I doubt many people have had their mom black them up).

The previous two years I went as The Spirit

And the thing out of Saw.

Soon I will make my Macho Man costume and cross it off the list!