Wednesday, 10 March 2010

The Door Holding Game

The 'Door Holding Game' is a game I invented while working in the head office of a large banking company. Although slightly cruel, I found it hilarious, and eventually I became an expert, managing to beat even those who know about the game. I shall explain the rules.

Anyone who works in large, open plan, busy offices will know that you spend a lot of time holding doors open for people. I am very polite, and have no problem with doing that at all, I actually enjoy it for the slight social interaction. But that doesn't mean you cant have a bit of fun doing it.

The aim of the game is simple, but it is the depth of the game that keeps people playing.

The Aim:
Make the victim run

1) Look like you are in a hurry
This is best achieved by holding the door with a full armed stretch, preferably with one finger, as if you were rushing through the door when you noticed someone close behind, and have done all you can to lean back and make sure the door is held. Experts among us will go onto one foot to imply the momentum of original speed.

2) Look like you are struggling
If you see someone holding a door open for you, but they are holding lots of folders that they are going to drop imminently, even the coolest among us will hasten their steps. It is only after you realise you are moving faster that you catch the telling smile of a 'door struggler'.

3) Look annoyed
I am not a fan of this tactic. This is more for the players who hold a higher position in the company. If you can produce a look of rage, portraying the 'Do you know who I am?' look, you can make anyone new to the company sprint.

The Scoring:
The base points are scored by the type of run.

1 point- The Final Skip Step
The victim doesn't move any faster, apart from his last step turns into a skip, to imply haste.

2 points- The Arm Run
The victims moves no faster, but tries to make it look they are by moving their elbows a bit faster. This can include a power walk, as long as they look a little bit silly doing it.

3 points- The Intermittent skip
Though not quite a jog, the intermittent skip is equally amusing to see in action. This is when victim moves faster by having a larger leap every couple of steps.

4 points - The Jog
If you are reading this for the first time, you are weeks away from ever reaching this level. The jog is what the Manchester United of the Game players aim to achieve.

5 points - The Sprint
What all Game players aim to achieve, though many still think is a myth. I once made a temp sprint, using everything in my game playing artillery. Critics cried foul of my claims, which eventually lead to my retirement.

Point modifiers:
Making someone jog half the length of the office is a much more impressive feat than two meters, and the game appreciates this. Equally, if a temp can make a board members elbows raise in haste, then more points should be awarded.

The base points are multiplied by the distance, in meters. For example, if you make someone intermittent skip 5 meters, you get 15 points (3 x 5).

Points are added, or taken away based on how many promotion levels above or below the victim is. If you make your bosses boss do a final skip step, you get 2 points (1 + 2).

Bonus Points:
Only the most experienced, and cold hearted of the players need read this. Your score is doubled if, just as the person is within two meters of the door, you let go and walk off. Just try not to then get in an awkward lift ride with the victim immediately after :(.

P.s. Sorry to anyone who I beat at this game.


  1. Haha I love that there is a game over this.

    I've always been that person that refuses to run or pick up my pace. I always figured that, if someone is going to hold the door open for me when it's obvious I won't be there any time soon, they are trying to make me run and THEY are the ones being rude (with a very polite cover). And, thanks to your description of this game, I guess I was right!

  2. Genius invention.

    I'm more like, annoy people during an escalator ride. You should make a tutorial on that :)

  3. Ha! I love this. Though I probably wouldn't try out the annoyed look one too much. I wish I worked in an office.

  4. hahaha fantastic game! Good to know that not all people holding open doors are as kind and innocent as they appear. Hooray for evil alterior motives!

  5. haha loved this!!! following you :)