Blog Archive: Lost in 24 Hours. The Jack Bauer way. [12th March 2007]

The product of a very boring uni lecture. Lost can do without a lot of the crap that it puts in as filler. Jack Bauer wouldnt let the writers slack.

08:00 - 09:00:
Mid flight, Jack Bauer and Jack Docter get in an argument about who is the better Jack. Jack Bauer throws him out of the placne. Plane crashes, Jack Bauer saves everyones life and makes sure to get the signal reciever off the plane before he jumps out into the water. The fast thinking means the device isnt broken. They set off into the jungle to mark ground. Sensing that Locke has seen something bad, Jack makes a rule that everybody must tell everybody else what has happened. Sawyer starts ranting on about killing a polar bear.

09:00 - 10:00:
Food starts running low. Locke hunts. Jack is confused as to why there is a mysterious monster, which he knows looks like black smoke because Locke told everybody. Realising the Marshall isnt going to live, Sawyer shoots him. Jack takes his emergancy medicine out of his survival pocket and gives it to anyone who needs it. Jacks keen eye realises that one of the people wasnt on the plane and is pretending to be a survivor. Jack throws him off the cliff, then looks through his wallet and finds out hes one of the 'others'.

10:00 - 11:00:
Walt is hunting with Locke when a beast starts going after them. Jack dropkicks the beast and sends him on his way. With Jin, Jacks second in command, SWAT trained officer, they set off into the jungle looking for the Others. Meanwhile, a raft is being built, which gets set on fire by Sun, because she wanted to see Hurley run and get water. Jack and Jin find mysterious hatch. Realising how important it must be, they tell the rest of the group, who work together to get it open.

11:00 - 12:00:
Sun tells a sweaty, but lovable Hurley that the raft she set on fire was a fake one, and that the one that was being made was around the corner. Jack appoints Jin, Sawyer and Michael to set about exploring on it, while he and Locke open the hatch. The boat is attacked by the others, and destroyed. Michaels son, who sneaked on the boat, was sadly killed in the gunfight which followed. Meanwhile, Jack and Locke try to open the hatch using explosions. Locke gets dragged away by the black smoke monster, who runs off when he sees Jack running at him. They blow up the hatch, and look down it.

12:00 - 13:00:
Episode starts showing an unknown man walking around. He puts on a CD, which has a song with a continuas loop of the CTU ring tone. The man hears the explosion and is confused and gets ready to shoot whoever is there. Upon seeing Jack Bauer, the man immediatly lowers his gun, and crys, explaining that Jack is his 'brother'. Jack has no idea who the man is. Michael, Sawyer and Jin wake up on another beach, and immediatly gets knocked out by President Palmer, who also landed on the island. He explains that he thought they were the others, and said about the problems he has had with them. Michael moans about 'his boy'. President Palmer, Sawyer, Jin and Michael return to the main camp, in time to hear Jacks story about the hatch. Realisng that they havnt actually added anything to the story, Jack shoots Boone, and Shannon runs off into the jungle. Another gun shot is heard. She comes walking out saying 'Others'.

13:00 - 14:00:
Michael runs off into the jungle, shouting 'my boy', hoping to take revenge on the others. Jack, Locke and Kate goes after him, and encounter the Others, who say they are going to kill them if they go into the jungle again. Having none of this, Jack shoots the main guy with a beard, they run out of the jungle, knowing a war has started. Locke, who has been studying the hatch, trys to learn more about it. Jacks 'brother' Desmond tells him he must type in certain numbers every 10 minutes. Desomnd then runs out into the jungle to hide.

Ps. Dont cry if this has been done before.

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22 year old Andy's Comments:
This was when I started watching 24, after finishing watching Season 1 of Lost. Having got used to how people don't tell each other anything in Lost, I appreciated the 'no nonsense' approach to things Jack Bauer took.

If you haven't watched Lost or 24 then you probably felt like you wasted part of your life reading this. And that would be true.

If only I had a tape player...

On my new desk, in my new house I found this:

... if that isn't an obvious start of an adventure I don't know what is.

P.s Pics of my new house and stuff to come soon!

Blog Archive: "From now on, lets not try and rob my car" [16th February 2007]

I think this called for a facebook note :P

Last night, at around 1:00am, we heard some bangs outside. As usual, I dont properly register them, but Tara looked, and said "oh my god!!"... my first thoughts were (and i have NO idea why...) that there were foxes, on top of my car, fighting. Turns out it wasnt. Some chavvy little fuckers were trying to steal my car!! We ran outside, and they ran off...

Somehow, they had bent the frame, and fucked the steering lock, and tried to move the car, but couldnt control it, so it rolled off down the road a bit.

After eventually fitting my key in the ignition (which is also fucked), I drove after them, but couldnt find them... I did see a guy franticly waving at me, and I had no idea why... turns out my lights wernt on.

Anyways. So... from now on, can we please not steal my car.

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22 year old Andy's Comments:
This story continues. The little bastards. For the American readers.. chavs are people who don't have jobs, and stand around drinking cheap cider in the afternoon.

The next day the police came over. They were actually really nice and helpful. Keep reading to see how this whole episode turned out.

My last night at home

Tonight is my last night at home. I haven't said much about it, but I am moving out of my home with my parents (for the first time ever), to a few miles down the road. The new house I will be living in has 6 bedrooms, 5 of them currently occupied by 3 girls and 2 guys, all around my age, and all graduates.

My mom hasn't taken it so well. For the last few weeks she has seemed quite short tempered with me, and fitting in the line "I won't have to put up with this when you are gone" at every opportunity. I know she will miss me a lot really, and with me being the last one to move out I think she is quite upset. She seems to think I am doing it to get rid of them, but really it is just because I have never lived with people my own age before and would like to try it before it is too late (and I settle down with a mortgage and stuff).

I am a bit nervous, but I think it will be fine. I currently have no idea how to wash clothes, iron, or wake up on my own. The next few weeks I will probably be turning up to work at 2pm, in yesterdays creased clothes.

Anyway, I will write more about it, with pictures, when I have moved tomorrow!

Pendulum Gig (Sub Focus support) in the O2 Academy

Last night I went to see Pendulum (supported by Sub Focus) with some guys from work. To ready myself, I had a foot long Chicken Teriyaki Subway, followed by a Happy Meal (it is 50p cheaper to get a Happy Meal than buying the contents separately. And having a toy doesn't hurt).

We got there while Sub Focus were part way through a song, and there was already people going mad in the middle. We chilled it on the outside, having a couple of drinks, getting ready (I only had one drink.. It was four effing pounds!!).

As soon as Pendulum came on, we jumped into the middle and moshed it. Very fun! They were much, much better than I expected them to be. It was a complete sweatfest in the middle, resulting in me having to take my tshirt off again (I try not to make a habit of it due to my manboobs). The heat was comparable to last weeks gig in London.

All in all, it was one of the better gigs I have been to.

And here is one of these generic gig photos where you can't really see who it is (it just wouldn't be right not to take one!).

Blog Archive: Ricky Gervais: A story of broken hope and snow. [11th February 2007]

Me, Tara, Neil, Liam and Della went to see Ricky Gervais yesterday. Little did we know the problems we would encounter.

I woke up that morning by a car horn. It was Liam outside. My phone had turned off so my alarm didnt go off. He had came to pick me up at 12, I was meant to have picked Tara up, showered, etc. I ran around n got ready. We picked up Tara and set off to Cardiff, planning to go shopping n stuff, before the doors open at 6:30.

The roads were shit. There started to be traffic, didnt seem like a problem at first... I wasnt worried till about 3 hours of moving every 45 mins. My ass was as numb as a rapists shoulder.

Some guys in the car behind started throwing snowballs at Liams car.. but we didnt have any snow on the roof to throw back, which sucked. Then they crashed into his car... was weird.

At about 5 o'clock, me and Neil decided to go for a walk (down the bypass/motorway thingy), as we needed to find somewhere suitable to piss, and to move, as 4 hours of sitting down was killing me.

We walked down the road for ages, through slush n stuff, I just had a jumperish thing on, and shoes (and ofc jeans). My feet got wet(ish... lol@neils feet).

After a couple of miles of walking.. we got to the source of the problem, the roundabout. All exits were clear, but the faggots on there didnt want to move. But we saw a McDonalds which gave us hope. Before we had chance to go to there, a bloke shouted something to us, which we found out meant 'help me push this broken down car'.

We walked over to the car, and pushed it, thinking they wanted it to the side of the road... apparently not. I think they wanted us to push it home for them or something. We pushed it for like 1/4 of a mile (I have no sense of distance).

Neways, finaly, we got to McDonalds... to find it was closed. They hadnt opened that day cus the spotty cunts were busy looking at gay porn at home. The one time im hungry enough to eat the shit, they dont open.

We walked back, now the knowledgable explorers, who everyone was rolling windows down to ask us wtfs going on. After a few people, we decided to play the game of 'make up the funniest reason for a traffic jam'. A crazy business man called Neil over, and got the reason 'There are loads of cows running around on the road'. I lolled. The man looked like 'wtf m8?' :p. We felt bad so didnt do it again.

Then it rained.

Finaly got back to the car at half 6, an hour and a half of being in snow/rain, in a jumper and shoes. We had pretty much given up hope of getting to Ricky Gervais. Then... out of nowhere... all the traffic moved... and it was clear... no idea how. Somebody must have moved the cows.

We eventually got there, no thanks to the red lights in Cardiff... walked in just as the support act went off stage, giving us time to get our seats and get ready for iPodge.

It was good :D woo.

If you read all this, you have just wasted a few minutes of your life that you are never going to get back, but thank you.

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22 year old Andy's Comments:
First off, I apologise for my language. I have pasted this word for word, and it wasn't really wrote in a blog sense. Tee hee.

Anyway, it must have snowed for 3 days after the last post. And I really like to reiterate how brutal the walk was. Me and Neil still often reminisce about it. The game where we were going to make up reasons why the road has stopped made me chuckle.

Also, I said 'it was good', but if I remember right.. it wasn't all that good.

101) See Infected Mushroom

Having this as 101 may be cheating since I didn't add it, but seeing Infected Mushroom is something I have wanted to do for ages, but thought I wouldn't be able to. I have loved this band since I was 12 and first heard Mush Mushi. They are a electro/psychedelic trance band from Iran, and I find their music helps me so much. It pretty much played the whole time I wrote my dissertation.

So yes, I wanted to this this band for 10 years, but the reason I didn't add it to my list is because I thought it was something I would never be able to do. They are hardly ever in England, my friends wouldn't see this sort of band, and they aren't going to be touring forever. I didn't want to have something on the list that I could never complete... so it was never put on.

The two weeks ago I happened to see they were playing in England. The following week. I sat blinking at the computer for a while. London. Although it isn't impossible for me to get there... I would have nobody to go with. I painted my excitement all over the next few Facebook statuses. I called and messaged a few friends. I was really hoping they would go, but in all honesty I didn't expect any would. There was no takers.

I looked back at Facebook and saw Della had replied. "I dont know what that means but any excuse to go to London :)". The best line I could have ever read. She was willing to get a train ticket to London, go after work, and stay up all night with me, watching a band she hasn't heard of, playing a genre she probably doesn't like, and then get the train back to Birmingham right after. This is why she means a lot to me, and why I value her friendship so much.

On the Friday night (21st May), as planned, we filled coke bottles with alcohol (its good to pretend to be 16 again) and got the train down. The 70% absinthe I decided to use was pretty lethal, but quite appropriate. It made my vision go from:

Then to be more like ...

And finally like this...

Somewhere between 2:30 and 3am... the usual time I would be leaving a club, Infected Mushroom took the stage. I haven't been this excited for ages. Seeing them really did mean a lot, I haven't been to this sort of place at all, and I love doing new things, especially things I've been wanting for so long.

Everyone in the club seemed properly up for it, it could have been my excitement clouding it, but I didn't see many mardy people standing in the corners. It was different crowd than I am used to, and one dredlock-clad guy had the craziest dance I've seen. It seemed to defy physics. Though I was still raving it like a loon.

It was a complete sweatfest. My tshirt was literally dripping. I was considering taking it off, since a lot of the people in the club already had... but as I started to lift it up, I changed my mind. It was either remembering the annoying Chavs the other week, topless, in Gatecrasher.. or possibly because I don't like my body. As my mind changed, and I lowered my top, a guy next to me gave me a glance of 'go on... do it'.

The tshirt came off.

We danced until after 4:30, when we rolled into the closest 24 hour McDonalds, and eventually on the train home, already feeling hungover, sleeping the whole way. Thankfully, saved us by picking us up from Birmingham. Much love.

For those who need a video to see the experience... here!

Massive thanks again Della. It wouldn't have been possible without you :)

Me and My Dad

Today I was talking to my dad about moving out (I was going to save announcing this until I had pictures and stuff, so ignore this statement). I said I needed to buy some socks (for the last 4 years I have stole his socks), and he said not to, because he had bought me some. I went to his room, and he had a bag of socks. He had gone to Merry Hill on the bus just with cash, bought the socks, but ended up spending too much, and not leaving himself with bus fare to get back.. meaning he had to walk 6 miles home.

We got talking about things, mainly my grandad, who turned 90 earlier this week. He was saying how he is struggling to walk places at all now, and is starting to make a lot of noise when he breathes, and is often found on the floor after falling over and not being able to get up. I could tell my dad was finding it kind of hard to talk about, but still wanted to. A lot like how I am with things.

I realised how much I am like my dad when we were lying on the bed talking. He was saying about how quickly time goes now. How one moment you are 40, then 50, then looking at retirement. I could tell the weakening of my grandad is really effecting him, but, like me, he tries to avoid showing these kind of emotions. I said about how I feel like the last few years have gone so quickly, and how I am now one of the older people in the places I like to go.

He told me he was looking out the window and remembered moving into our house 23 years ago and our garden being full of thorns. He remembered how my grandad, even though he would still be quite old then, used to come down while my dad was at work and trim the bushes so we didn't get caught on the thorns. This must be where my dad gets his personality from. He is forever quietly doing things to help me, tidying my room while I am out, checking my car oil and tyres, and is always there when I need him, even if I am stranded somewhere, he wouldn't think twice about getting in the car to pick me up, drunk, in the middle of the night.

I don't tell him enough, but I really do appreciate everything he does for me, and would be thankful to be half the person he is. I hope he realises.

I don't like to write emotional posts, but I think this deserved it, as it is something I want to remember.

Blog Archive: Snowwww (and global warming) [8th February 2007]

Wooo its snowing, I just threw a snowball at my 3 yr old nephews face and made him cry (oops... but he loved it rly).

I dont believe in this global warming. First off, its colder at the moment than ever - and it doesnt help that my mom thinks the radiators are there just for show. I also cant see it being a problem that the water will raise by half a meter, just means people will have to grow a little bit taller to keep their head above it in the sea. It will mean more BBQs in the summer, maybe.

I think its a lie, or more of a scam. The power companys have got together with the government, and realised that people will do things they are told not to. 'Ooh, dont use power, you will die', so everyone turns their lights on. Same as drugs.

You cant trust these power companys. Read last post.

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22 year old Andy's Comments:
Ahh, poor nephew. I remember that happening. In my defence, it was a really good throw. Said nephew is now 6, and he loves me lots so if anything it probably strengthened our relationship.

I still don't really buy into this global warming stuff... though people still always do things they aren't meant to (like drugs).

Also, this post came the day after the power was turned off... which makes me even more angry, think how cold I must have been doing this jigsaw!!

Blog Archive: How dare they. [7th February 2007]

I dont think in this day and age it is ever acceptable to turn electricity off for long periods of time.

I got home this morning, went to go on computer.. and it didnt turn off. I was amazingly infuriated. The one thing that gets me really angry is having no electricity.

I went to my neighbours to ask wtfs going on, and they said that a letter had been sent round saying power will be off from 9 - 5 X(. I was about to go back into my house, and the f00kin door had shut. I was locked outside and it was freezing. Anways, after phoning around, and eventually finding out my mom was actually at home, and I hadnt noticed her (:P) I got let back in, still without power.

For the next few hours, I did a jigsaw. Thats right. A fucking jigsaw. Older people would probably be like 'oooh thats nice...see, you dont need electricity to have fun'. No. It was horrible. In about 2 and a half hours, I fit together 10 Pieces. The only excitment out of it was having to rewind the damn radio (thanks to whoever made them).

Anyways, Its very annoying. It shouldnt happen. If i had a freezer all the food would now be useless.

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22 year old Andy's Comments:
Apparently I was much more into ranting when I was 18. Though I do really, really hate electricity being turned off. This was before I had any sort of internet phone. Fully cut out from the world.

Blog Archive: Charity sucks. [10th November 2006]

A Charity, which i will not name, as they didnt tell me, has tricked me into a job interview. They got my name and number by offering a can of coke when i was thirsty. Damn them.

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22 year old Andy's Comments:

The charity will still be unnamed... as I have forgot who they were. I remember they kept calling me up and trying to convince me to work for them. Like a damn cult, trying to get me when I was weak/thirsty.

Andy Jones: Blogging Since 2006

I looked back over my Facebook profile, and noticed I had posted some blog-like 'note' posts dating as far back as November 10th 2006. Over the next few days I will post them, so you have a small insight to what I was like when I was 18.

Anyone who has me on Facebook shouldn't cheat and look at my 'notes'.

21) Cycle 50 miles; Post 2

I doubt many people remember a post I put in my first two weeks of blogging, about my decision to start training for a 50 mile bike ride. I got my bike fixed and everything!

It has now been five months... but in my defence a lot has happened this year! But all should be forgiven, as I have actually got off my bum to start. And I know what you'll be thinking... one bike ride doesn't mean I am on track.. well HA! It is two bike rides!

The Maiden Voyage

Last week me and Dan (a guy I met at University, who had the same student placement place as me) decided to go on a bike ride. He's sneakily been going on a couple.. which I think is cheating. Anyway... we decided to follow the canals, as they always follow a pretty flat path. We didn't really have any plan on where to go, but we both kind of considered following them to Oxford (I still don't know if that is possible, ask me in a few weeks).

My bum went numb almost instantly. Damn bike saddles! Dan used an iPhone app that was meant to track your distance and path... so we could brag about it to everyone in the world later.

To my horror, canals have tunnels. Some of these tunnels don't have pathways, meaning I had to venture into the scary world of roads and people. I don't know how to cycle on the road... only real adults can cycle on a road... I didn't even pass my cycling proficiency test when I was 10. I'm pretty sure it is the definition of leaving my comfort zone. And this didn't just happen once... it happened many times.

At one point me and Dan found perhaps the scariest tunnel in the world. It was 2,768 meters long, that is 1.7 miles.. in pitch black, with a walkway barely wide enough to cycle. We maybe got about 100m down before we were too scared to continue. When I say we.. I mean Dan and not me *cough*. We vowed to return.

There is only so long I can drag a 'I rode my bike story', so I will end it by saying after getting hissed at by geese, told off my police and nearly falling in canals, we managed to cycle about 17 miles. I say 'about', because Dan's annoying map application failed, and tried to make out we only did 8 miles. I hope it isn't true.

The Return

When I vow to return to a scary tunnel, I almost always mean it. The following Sunday (3 days ago), even the most brutal hangover of the year couldn't stop me (that is another story). I was literally drunk for a good while after I woke up (by Dan on the phone.. very early).

We set out, again making the mistake of not really knowing where to go, other than to the scary tunnel. We didn't even think of looking where the canal goes after that. Maybe Oxford?

We entered the scary tunnel, armed with a torch held by Dan - I let him be the lead guy because he begged... and a small light on my bike. The dim light at the end of the tunnel seemed to not be getting any bigger however far we went. We cycled on and on, through long puddles of water, with the occasional drop hitting us from above. At one point we thought we could hear something, and stopped. We then heard someone clapping us. I'm not too big to say I nearly shat myself.

We finally got out of the tunnel 20 minutes later and carried along the path, which took us into the very centre of Birmingham. I was actually quite shocked! We got a McDonalds (anyone who says that is counter-productive should Jeff off... I was still suffering with a horrible hangover) and went home.

The final distance for this epic journey was 26 miles. I am quite pleased with myself... I wasn't that tired from it, and I think 50 miles is achievable soon. My friends were even more impressed, knowing how ridiculously drunk we were the night before.

j - Edit: Drunken post

Edit:

This was done while drunk. I don't remember trying to post something, but it must have been using my phone while in the club. What it was meant to say (based on the unpublished draft) was:

Just had an awkward "why am I sucking this guy I don't know's nipple on the dancefloor" moment. Rarely happens, but when it does it's awkward.

I kind of remember that now. And still don't realise, to any extent, why I sucked his nipple right after saying hello :/.

Drunken Garden Boxing

Last night the guys came over. We engaged in a spot of drunken garden boxing... always fun! It was only light and friendly hits *glares at Leigh*.

As always, video compilation below!

Sorry for the quality of the cuts, and it not working to the music.. my home computer is too slow to line things up!

You can always trust Amazon for an epic sale

I was just looking to buy the new England 2010 football shirt... and found this.

Best rush and get it before it goes back to .. oh wait.

Sh*t going down on my road!

Saturday was quite eventful on my road. It started with a couple of police cars, ambulances and fire engines...

Nobody really knew what was happening. My neighbour eventually asked, and was told it was something to do with chemicals being dug up. On Sunday there was a bomb squad van outside, and a lot more police cars and the likes.

This is a quote from the local news:

Army officers from the Explosives Ordnance Division were called in when it emerged he had uncovered 24 chemical grenades, believed to be a type issued to the Home Guard in case of a Nazi invasion.

Mr Cooke, who had only recently bought the house, called the non-emergency police number, was stunned by the response.

“It was not exactly what we expected to find when we started to dig the garden up, but it’s turned into quite a surreal afternoon,” he said.

And the BBC reported this:

A gardener in Halesowen escaped unharmed after his spade shattered a chemical grenade from the Second World War.

He was digging on Belbroughton Road when his spade hit the container and smoke began billowing out.

That's Halesowen drama for you. How much would you have sh*t yourself if you were that guy!

Well I never...

Today, walking to work, I was quite shocked to be insulted by a sign on the floor...

... though it got the last laugh, as I stood there for a while trying to take a picture.

Weekend with Kellie

This weekend Kellie, my Australian friend, came to England and I convinced her to stay with me in Birmingham. I am a big fan of Birmingham, and wanted to show her that it is really nice, and that the reputation it has is unfair and has no basis.

I first met Kellie when I was in Thailand with my then-girlfriend Tara, the August before last, and she was there with her then-boyfriend Clint. We were sat on the same table in a bar and bonded over drinking vodka out of buckets and Jägerbombs. We had three amazing (drunk) nights together before departing, not to see each other again for a long time!

Much has changed with both of us since. We both have split up with the people we were with at the time, both got in a serious relationship after, and both had hard break-ups from that recently... and ultimately both needed cheering up.

I met her on the Friday evening, and we went for a quick drink with Tara. We then went out for a meal, for my friends birthday and then on to Birmingham's biggest club, Gatecrasher. We spent most of the night talking about different things, getting moved away from corridors by the bouncers. We went home, but didn't get to sleep till much later after staying up for ages talking.

On Saturday we drove to Stratford-upon-Avon (where Shakespeare was born), which is a nice, fairly quiet little town. We got a rowing boat and I showed off my amazing rowing skills, which ended up with us nearly flat down trying to avoid low branches as I accidentally rowed under a tree. We had fish and chips, wandered around the town and then went home. We were both quite tired after the night before, so we watched a couple of films and went to sleep.

On Sunday, Kellie wanted to go to Stonehenge. I was a bit reluctant, as I had recently been, but decided it could be fun, and something she should see. I listened to the audio tape this time so it was a bit more educational (though very cold, something Kellie, who is used to much higher temperatures, felt a lot more than me).

After Stonehenge we drove to the picturesque city of Bath. Kellie was overwhelmed with the view over it as we drove in. We stopped for coffee and then drove back (I have continently forgot to write that I took a wrong turn walking back to the car, making us unnecessarily walk for ages).

As it was a bank holiday, the bars were pretty busy on Sunday still so we went to Brindley Place and The Mailbox along the canal in Birmingham for a couple of drinks, and then went home and slept.

I was quite sad on Monday afternoon to take her back to the train station, as it could be ages before we see each other again, though she was probably quite thankful to get a break from my constant innuendos. Its rare you meet someone that you feel you have such a good connection with but she is potentially travelling for the next two years so hopefully I will see her again.

agh