Monday, 18 January 2010

An interesting, completely unexpected and quite embarrassing pub visit.

After work today I decided to meet Neil for a drink and an epic lasagne (and curly fries) in the Trocadero in Birmingham. After ordering and getting drinks... a well dressed Indian man, wearing a smart suit and carrying a guitar case (and looked a bit like M. Night Shayamalan) stood next to us for a second, turned to us and said "I should have listened. Everyone told me she's like that... I'm too trusting. She's gone". Already, the night has gone a bit unexpected.

I quite like talking to random people, so I questioned what he meant. Obviously drunk, he asked if he could sit down.. and started telling us about this woman who he really liked, who's ex boyfriend is really nasty to her, but she still likes him. He was meant to meet up with her today in the pub but her ex turned up, and when he went to the toilet she left. Me and Neil both had a bit of sympathy for him. And then he said "And hes a Paki. I'm Indian, hes a dirty Paki".. we watched in shock as he lifted his hand.. spat in it.. and said "And thats what I think of Pakis". Yep. It became quite weird.

The following conversation took many paths. He started telling us he is somewhat of a guitar prodigy. By this point I was a bit doubtful, unfortunately he was determined to prove us wrong. In a busy pub. Sitting on our table. He pulled out his guitar, and first made Neil try and play something. It was really funny. People stared. He then took it back and started playing different guitar songs. I'll be honest, he was really good, but more people stared. One person got up and asked him to stop playing, as his singing was terrible. Yep... he was singing too.

Then, although he had said he was meeting a girl, I was sensing a lot of flirting. He told me how good looking I was, and that in certain pubs all the girls would be after me.. then, in a probing sense, said ".. though is that what you want..? ... do you have a girlfriend?". And he touched Neils knee. He told us that he just got out of court, as his ex is losing her children. But it wasn't his fault (the fact he had to say that makes me question whether it was his fault..).

We started playing with him a bit then. He said he can tell I've lived an easy life, and that I've never had pain. He said Neil has, and then talked to him about how you can't teach someone real pain... so I told him my family blew up when I was 4. After a bit he realised I was lying... not because the sarcastic tone in my voice, no, it was the green flashes coming off me. He revealed he was a 'seer' too. A man of many talents.

It was getting quite awkward now. He had got slightly annoying, as he started trying to show off his academic knowledge. He said something like "You kids, I passed an O level, you are spoon fed now. I bet you don't know something like the square root of 64", I fired back the answer of 8. He then tried to give me an equation... "E equals-" ... I quickly butted in that E is already a mathematical constant (2.718..). He then tried to test me knowledge on the string theory, and failing that Schrödinger's cat, and failing that he revealed the bottle of vodka hidden in his suit jacket.

Looking back at the start of the conversation, I question what really happened with the woman that left while he was in the toilets... why he was really wearing a suit... if he really was a teacher, like he said he was. After all, you could tell at some point he was probably quite clever, but recently gone a bit tapped.

Anyway, it was quite an interesting, completely unexpected and quite embarrassing pub visit.

P.s. Obviously, the man pictured isn't the one who was actually playing the guitar in the pub.

No comments:

Post a Comment