Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Dusseldorf, Germany: My Memoirs

On the 23rd - 25th September 2009, Me, Ash and Craig ventured out to Dusseldorf in Germany. I hadn't been to Germany before, and knew very little of the language (other than 'vas ist das?'). I didn't have a blog back then, but after recently reminiscing with Ash, we wrote up our memoirs.

- Starting the holiday off well, me and Craig having Beers in the airport, and Sensible Ash having a gentlemans coffee. Then meeting a Canadian girl, Jolene Lust, on the coach, and finding out that we are staying in the same hostel.

- Getting to the hostel, walking up loads of flights of stairs, and then realising it was on the ground floor. Then getting into the dorm at 10pm, and realsing everyone was asleep with the lights off. Losers.

- Walking into the nearest small bar and having a 'music goes out' moment as we walked in and loads of Turkish guys starred at us. Then fearing for my life as we sat down, and loads of Turkish guys were still staring at us.

- Making friends with the barmaid (dispite being completley unable to verbally communicate), who then gave us free shots and drank with us... and crisps that we couldn't figure out the flavour of (I think they were peanut...).

- Chatting to our new Canadian friend who was called Jolene Lust...singing the song ‘Jolene’...telling her her name sounded like a porn star name... and her telling us when she thinks of England she thinks of Coronation Street...and that we all have good teeth contrary to the English stereotype.

- Craig dissapearing for ages, in the bar toilet being sick.

- Thinking how nice the scary Turkish guys were, when they said bye in English as we left.

- Talking to Benjamin, an American who was travelling around Europe. Then talking to the Russian guy for ages. I tested out my small knowledge of the Russian language. He showed me how they program is Russia, and remote desktopped to his computer to see if I could help him.

- Spending the day wandering around the city. Going up the Rhine tower, taking funny photographs, and looking at the really expensive shops and massive Games Workshop.

- Not being able to find our bearings at all. Damn you bendy Dusseldorf roads that all look the same.

- Starting off with early-bird cocktails, choosing each others, and then drinking typical German tankards of beer... to get the night started.

- Getting refused into a club that I had only left a few hours before, because my hair. The bastard.

- Going to a club, whipping out the camera, much to the enjoyment of all the German people.

- Talking to two German guys a lot and dancing with them.

- Captain Vestman making a nightclub appearance.

- Looking back at the pictures in the morning and realising the two German guys, now nicknamed Hank and Troy, were obviously gay.

- Getting told off by a guy in the hostel for talking. I had to point out that he is in a hostel, not a hotel.

- Setting out on a mission to find the second hostel, in a more subburbian side of Dusseldorf.

- Going to a Hooters bar, and the waistress getting sexually assaulted by one of her customers....not us!

- Doing karaoke (or just shouting loudly) in an Irish Bar, and getting into a bit of an argument with a small drunk Irish guy, who had the nerve to start mocking Birmingham.

- Going to the sheisha bar, getting an alcohol one and having no idea what to do... when I eventually asked, the barmaid said "awhh, aren't you sweet". Patronising :(.

- Finally finding a German hotdog after 3 days of looking (I thought the place would be littered with them!!).

- Throwing up all night after eating a bad German hotdog :(.

- Me and Craig getting slapped by the maid for Ash not making his bed, as he sat outside reading Batman graphic novels.

- Getting hopelessly lost trying to find our way back to where we had to catch our coach to the airport. Trying to ask German people for directions but nobody being able to understand me.

- Meeting the legend Tim Hamer at the bus stop in Germany, learning that we are both programmers, and finding out he lives just round the corner from me!

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