Monday, 19 April 2010

The 'War' On Facebook

Okay. I am going to have to make this rant. Sorry. First off, this isn't aimed at any specific person, so please don't get offended.

First off, I will start this on the defensive. I don't only have 'online friends', the last few weeks I've barely had a spare night where I haven't caught up with a friend, or gone on a random drive with someone. I think I am in quite a good place to be able to comment on this ongoing 'war'.

I don't understand this sudden craze with deleting Facebook.

Before Facebook, I had a tight group of friends, and then school people who I would say hi to. Now, I still have a tight group of friends (though it is now easier to arrange to go out), and a much, much broader group of friends, of varing age groups and cities. This isn't to say the people I talk to on Facebook are just 'internet friends', quite the opposite. Some of my best friends, have became such because of our ability to communicate on Facebook. Take Amy, for example. We worked at Comet, then she left. We didn't speak again, beacuse in person, due to the circumstances we didn't really have time to 'connect'. Now, because of getting back in touch on Facebook, we realised we get on well, and talk a lot now.

Personally, I don't like to text that much. I find the medium doesn't lend itself well to getting to know people. Thankfully, Facebook allows the chat if you want it. I am able to talk to people that I dont know well enough to talk to (I don't mean to sound antisocial, but you would probably equally find it weird if I came over your house randomly to ask if you had a good weekend). Without this communication, I may not realise how much I have in common with someone. It has helped me cultivate relationships, and realise I do actually quite like some peopel that in person we didn't get on that well.

A friend who recently deleted their Facebook posted on their blog:

"And now I've realised that I don't really care about hearing about other people and their shenanigans either. If I want to hear about what they've been upto I'll ask them"

I don't understand this line of thinking. I am actually bothered about what people are doing. I'm not nosey, just friendly. If someone from school is having a baby, I want to congratulate them. The reason I wouldn't know in person is not because we don't like each other, but because we wouldn't have time to see each other. There are only 24 hours in a day, 10 of which are spent around work (getting ready, traveling, working), 8 are sleeping. I am thankful for the chance to congratulate somone that I once talked to a lot on a new job or engagement.

Also, I welcome random adds from people. I don't think 'they are weird because they are adding me', I think that potentially we could get on well. If, once they have added me, we don't end up talking much, or having much in common, then so be it. Nothing gained, nothing lost.

Facebook is an amazing social tool, and if someone cannot detatch themselves from thinking things such as popularity being based on how many friends someone has, or take the tongue-in-cheek joke about relationships not being real unless its on Facebook, then that is a problem they must deal with instead of reflecting it onto a social networking site. If you are spending too much time on Facebook, again, that isn't a problem of the site, its a problem of an addictive personality. If you feel you don't have the time to read someones status, how do you expect you will have the time to drive 30 mins to meet them?

By all means, if you don't like Facebook, delete it. But I think to use reasoning such as not careing about the people on it and their activities or opinions, you could be on track to a lonely future (outside of the fewer people you are able to connect with on a daily basis).


  1. bit-chy! thank you for my mention... a way of buttering me up maybe?! :P i can see what you're saying but i also see other peoples reasons for deleting it perfectly. and i also find certain things mentioned cannot truly be commented on until experienced.
    lets agree to disagree yes :)

  2. I hate texting because I have a touch phone (THE DEVIL) and will avoid it whenever I can, and anyway why text when facebook is free? People deleting their facebook is like willingly taking the first step to being a technophobe.

  3. I see your argument. I have a love/hate relationship with facebook. But I am one of those addictive personality people you mentioned. I find facebook VERY addictive, and have contemplated deleting it many times due to this fact. I still haven't because it does help me keep in touch with my family and friends from all over the world. However, I honestly don't care about a lot of stuff people post on facebook. And I don't think it has ever helped me develop relationships. Maybe I'm just not as friendly as you ? ;)

  4. I was reading Kelly's comment, there is actually an option in which you choose whether you want certain people's stats to appear on your feed or not..that's pretty useful considering that sometimes we have "friends" whose status updates we don't really care for :D it helps me filter!

  5. Yeah, the option to hide stuff on the news reel is handy. Good because I don't actually care if you just harvested a crop of delicious strawberries on Farmville. Lol.

    I noticed a craze a couple of weeks ago of people shouting their off feelings toward fb from the rooftop. (and by rooftop, I mean status update bar) and that made no sense to me. If you're missing deadlines because you spend all your time on fb, then maybe the problem has more to do with your lack of self control.

    In short, I agree with everything you said.

  6. OK so I am an "oldie" on fb - I joined a year ago when a good friend of mine died in a tragic accident - it helped alot of us that had been friends of his come to terms with his death. Sounds wierd I know. I have now re-connected with people I knew at school (a long time ago), from different countries that I have lived in and people I am friendly with now - also great way to touch base with family. Its a great way to keep in touch on a very informal basis, (if you lived in a small village you would say hello to people you saw on the street - not necessarily engage them in meaningful conversation everytime you see them). I don't understand the need to annouce your deleting fb, as if your superior to dunderheads (like me) who enjoy the socialising. I agree it can be easy to become addicted to it - just a case of exercising common sense, I also find Farmville crap a real bore, then discovered the "Hide" button.

  7. Facebook is fab. Without it I would of lost touch with the majority of my friends after having the kids as when I do receive a text I am usually too busy to reply and then just forget it. With facebook I get to see what all my friends have been upto, see pics of their nights out (though I do get very jealous) and more importantly not have to text!!
    And not forgetting, without facebook I would never have met Paul awwww :) Aswell as Paul though, I have made many friends, a few very good ones who I regulary text (I know the text thing, but I do occasionly text) So to all those who are disliking and deleting facebook, I hope they find happiness elsewhere..........

  8. I hate it when people make Fbook seem trite. It's how I stay in touch my many people!

  9. I'm hardly ever on Facebook and I don't really text that much but I don't see a reason to delete it. It's a connection you might not have other wise...while I may not be tied to Facebook I don't hate it either.It's there if I need it and still there when I don't.

    How are you to get to know people if you keep burning or "deleting" all you connections?


  10. They'll all be back. Facebook is apart of our generation, whether they like it or not.

  11. Best blog i've ever read :)

    <3 it!!

  12. Most of my facebook friends that ended up deleting their profile have done this using the same excuse. "because THEY aren't interested with what OTHER people do". But it's been an excuse. It's generally because they've put stuff on their profiles that maybe everybody shouldn't have seen, people found out and reported it on and they got into trouble..

    Facebook is a great socialising tool. For myself, moving from one country to another, it's a lot cheaper to keep in contact via fb rather than phone/txt. And it's nice to see when your childhood friends get married and so forth. It's got nothing to do with being gossipy (although I have to admit; I am..) but normal human curiosity. And friendliness.


  13. I understand that sometimes Facebook is almost an overshare, too much information (I don't quite care when a friend has "liked" 8 profiles), but I find the reasoning of getting to keep in touch with people we otherwise wouldn't be able to fit into our days to be much more important. Yes, it is irritating to be constantly told of someone's every move, but the power of instantly connecting with hundreds of people is incredible.