Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Billund, Denmark: My Memoirs

During a day at University in 2008, I saw a deal on Ryanair to get flights for 1p. I didn't believe this deal, I asked Mike to give me a number, when he did I counted down the list of airports, and landed on 'Billund'. I then booked 4 return flights, 1p each way, for a total of 8p.

In November 2008, Me, Mike, Craig and Adam went to Billund. A place in Denmark that is famous for producing Lego, and having a Legoland (that is closed in November), and nothing else. It was an amazing few days. Here are my memoirs:

- Landing at the airport, realising I hadn't looked at where the hotel was. Laughing at how it was pretty much on the runway, with nothing else even close to it.

- Taking a long walk into town, that pretty much had one supermarket, and no visible pub.

- Turning around and seeing Mike starting to get up, looking around hoping nobody had seen him fall flat. Strapping his wrist up for the rest of the holiday after badly hurting it.

- Those lovely, lovely burgers. What the hell do they put on them!? "We do good pizza, you English, you only eat the burgers".

- Walking through the forest with Craig after buying alcohol. Almost sh*tting myself when I saw some dark figures sitting on a playground in the middle of the woods.

- Climbing over a fence to try and get out of the forest. Walking down a path, then getting confused after seeing a huge Lego block, then another, then realising we had accidentally broken into the Legoland factory part.

- Seeing a man in the factory thing, then walking over while calling to him for a way out. Then realising how much of a Chav I must have looked, tresspassing, while carring a bottle of vodka and shouting.

- Going into a nearby, bigger town. All the girls being ridiculously attractive. Then seeing the scariest man I've ever seen, with a crazy tattoo all down his face.

- The first photograph of Captain Vestman.

- Man games, including Mike setting fire to his sock, where it just spreads across then quickly goes out... I was amazed. Trying to head-butt the top of the door frame... It takes a lot of balls, and Seeing who would have made the best wrestler back in the day... Craig won.

- Rating the pornography playing cards by favourite. Developing an in-depth rating system, by placing poker chips of different value next to which we prefer, then eliminating the lowest each time.

- Trying to dive through the hotel window, then getting told off by a man upstairs.

- Drunkenly going out into the freezing Danish winter topless. All of us doing an acapella with Craig taking the lead.

- Showing my agility by flipping onto the top bunk of the bed (see video) then everyone else trying.

- Craig getting really, really drunk and falling asleep standing against the sink. A few hours later there was a huge bang and he was on the floor, looking like he had been shot.

- Starting to go to sleep. Adam turned the heated floor in the bathroom off, causing Craig to wake up, still really drunk. I opened my eyes to see him stumble out of the bathroom, accidentally run his arm over the table knocking everything off, including an open 2l coke bottle, into Mikes bag.

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