In 2010, or some time around then, my good friend Dan and I decided we would skydive. I'm not a particularly fearful or nervous person, but I was nervous from the very second we agreed to it. We decided what day we would go, I got the time off work, and I had confirmed the date with the skydiving place (pending deposit). It was all going to plan...
... Until it wasn't. I told Dan that the day was free, to his confusion - as it wasn't the day we agreed. It was a week after. How did I make that mistake? I'm not a mistake-maker! I went to the work holiday board to see if I could change it - but my holiday wasn't marked down on the week I thought it was... it was booked for a week after. I had no idea how all of this had happened... agreeing one week, booking the week before off, an arranging it for the week after. Was I self-sabotaging? Was it some divine intervention, because the parachute wasn't going to open and I would die a squashy death?
The plans all fell apart, and that was the end of that.
7 years pass and it is coming up to my 30th birthday (30... I know... wtf. How did this happen... I guess it deserves it's whole own post, how years happen and all that). I still haven't skydived (skydived? Sky dove? A sky dove sounds more like a bird. Is "dove" even a word in that context? Have I made a mistake my whole life? "He dove into the water". It doesn't even sound right now. This is "versed" all over again)... but now was the time.
The first person I called was Dan. He was my man. 7 years in the making. But, alas, with a child he is now a more sensible man. I was at 1 child, I guess. I now have 4. Sense has long since left. I needed a new squad to be blasted into space - well, sky, which is part of the way. I needed my own Armageddon, in the film sense, not the catastrophe sense.
The calls went out... I picked my A-team, and everyone responded.
Joe: Friend since we were 10. Once said he would jump out of a plane for me, probably.
Mike: Friend since pretty much every lesson in college and Uni was together. Good at buying hot dogs.
Craig: Friend since Uni, when he told me his name was MC Nicholas and I thought he was a wigger-rapper.
Mom: Friend since aged 3-4. She says before, but I'd be taking her word for it.
Wildcard - Joemondo Fro, aka Joe: Friend since Uni, where he wore a different pair of trainers every day.
And the backup... Amelie. She really, really wanted to go, and cried when she couldn't.
For some reason I was no longer nervous. Maybe I had matured over the years, and gotten a new "fearless" side. Admittedly, very little makes me nervous or scared now, at least in the way of things like this. I was more excited. I even did my hair to match the Armageddon jumpsuits (I actually only just realised that was similar now. I was going through a thing, getting close to 30 and changing my hair a lot because I can so eff everyone).
The day had came, Sunday 23rd July. We arrived at midday, hoping for a quick take off, and a quicker descent... but it wasn't to be, instead we had to wait 4 hours for everybody else. I think this must have been to test my nerves.
The time eventually came, when we were paired off with men who came to pick us, like young women in a 50's disco. They decided to put me with the biggest bloke, who wore me like I wear the babies (for those who do not know, in one of those baby carriers you put on your front...). I looked ridiculous.
The plane went up, and up. We were jumping at 13,000 feet. The big man wore a watch (altimeter, or whatever) that was kind of like a doomsday clock. He showed me, between little tickles, and sniffs of my hair. And as the clock struck 13, the door was opened, and air blasted in.
I was dragged (tied to big man) to the entrance, there was a man dangling holding on, and then the next thing I knew we were falling.
It was amazing.
We did a kind of flip or something at the start, and it was hard to get my bearings. I remember a teacher I had in year 4 telling me that she had been skydiving, and I was in awe. She said she went through a cloud and got wet. I always thought I'd like to go through a cloud and get wet - and today I did.
As we fell I was looking down at the things around. The big man kept putting his fingers in my mouth (or under my chin, or whatever, either way it felt as emasculating). He said before that if you look down you'll struggle to breathe, but I was fine, apart from the hand covering my mouth.
Then suddenly there was a pull, and my back cracked like I was back in Thailand with some woman snaked around me thrusting. The parachute was up, and it seemed like I wasn't going to die.
I was looking for different people around me... then out of nowhere, mom pops over. For a moment I was pretty sure we were going to crash parachutes. It's strange having a little chat, thousands of feet in the air.
At one point, big man made me take control of the parachute. I didn't really trust myself not to let go of it. I know it's all attached and stuff, but I'm pretty sure if I let go it would have caused problems, and I didn't want that...
Then we landed... and I could see Amelie still kind of crying, and my dad pointing me out to her, and her smiling. It was a nice welcoming.
I had survived it, and it was awesome. And I got to cross off number 14, Skydive.
... Until it wasn't. I told Dan that the day was free, to his confusion - as it wasn't the day we agreed. It was a week after. How did I make that mistake? I'm not a mistake-maker! I went to the work holiday board to see if I could change it - but my holiday wasn't marked down on the week I thought it was... it was booked for a week after. I had no idea how all of this had happened... agreeing one week, booking the week before off, an arranging it for the week after. Was I self-sabotaging? Was it some divine intervention, because the parachute wasn't going to open and I would die a squashy death?
The plans all fell apart, and that was the end of that.
7 years pass and it is coming up to my 30th birthday (30... I know... wtf. How did this happen... I guess it deserves it's whole own post, how years happen and all that). I still haven't skydived (skydived? Sky dove? A sky dove sounds more like a bird. Is "dove" even a word in that context? Have I made a mistake my whole life? "He dove into the water". It doesn't even sound right now. This is "versed" all over again)... but now was the time.
The first person I called was Dan. He was my man. 7 years in the making. But, alas, with a child he is now a more sensible man. I was at 1 child, I guess. I now have 4. Sense has long since left. I needed a new squad to be blasted into space - well, sky, which is part of the way. I needed my own Armageddon, in the film sense, not the catastrophe sense.
The calls went out... I picked my A-team, and everyone responded.
Joe: Friend since we were 10. Once said he would jump out of a plane for me, probably.
Mike: Friend since pretty much every lesson in college and Uni was together. Good at buying hot dogs.
Craig: Friend since Uni, when he told me his name was MC Nicholas and I thought he was a wigger-rapper.
Mom: Friend since aged 3-4. She says before, but I'd be taking her word for it.
Wildcard - Joemondo Fro, aka Joe: Friend since Uni, where he wore a different pair of trainers every day.
And the backup... Amelie. She really, really wanted to go, and cried when she couldn't.
For some reason I was no longer nervous. Maybe I had matured over the years, and gotten a new "fearless" side. Admittedly, very little makes me nervous or scared now, at least in the way of things like this. I was more excited. I even did my hair to match the Armageddon jumpsuits (I actually only just realised that was similar now. I was going through a thing, getting close to 30 and changing my hair a lot because I can so eff everyone).
The day had came, Sunday 23rd July. We arrived at midday, hoping for a quick take off, and a quicker descent... but it wasn't to be, instead we had to wait 4 hours for everybody else. I think this must have been to test my nerves.
The time eventually came, when we were paired off with men who came to pick us, like young women in a 50's disco. They decided to put me with the biggest bloke, who wore me like I wear the babies (for those who do not know, in one of those baby carriers you put on your front...). I looked ridiculous.
The plane went up, and up. We were jumping at 13,000 feet. The big man wore a watch (altimeter, or whatever) that was kind of like a doomsday clock. He showed me, between little tickles, and sniffs of my hair. And as the clock struck 13, the door was opened, and air blasted in.
I was dragged (tied to big man) to the entrance, there was a man dangling holding on, and then the next thing I knew we were falling.
It was amazing.
We did a kind of flip or something at the start, and it was hard to get my bearings. I remember a teacher I had in year 4 telling me that she had been skydiving, and I was in awe. She said she went through a cloud and got wet. I always thought I'd like to go through a cloud and get wet - and today I did.
As we fell I was looking down at the things around. The big man kept putting his fingers in my mouth (or under my chin, or whatever, either way it felt as emasculating). He said before that if you look down you'll struggle to breathe, but I was fine, apart from the hand covering my mouth.
Then suddenly there was a pull, and my back cracked like I was back in Thailand with some woman snaked around me thrusting. The parachute was up, and it seemed like I wasn't going to die.
I was looking for different people around me... then out of nowhere, mom pops over. For a moment I was pretty sure we were going to crash parachutes. It's strange having a little chat, thousands of feet in the air.
At one point, big man made me take control of the parachute. I didn't really trust myself not to let go of it. I know it's all attached and stuff, but I'm pretty sure if I let go it would have caused problems, and I didn't want that...
Then we landed... and I could see Amelie still kind of crying, and my dad pointing me out to her, and her smiling. It was a nice welcoming.
I had survived it, and it was awesome. And I got to cross off number 14, Skydive.
Lol it so homo this is it nephew btw
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