I am now 31, and only five days away from being 32. I now have four children, two businesses, and a wife. It is quite a world away from when I was 21 (no children, no businesses, and no wife, for a start).
Back then I had a lot of hair. Quite a lot of it. So much so that I apparently looked like every other person with curly hair. It kind of became "my thing" (at least before the headband).
When I was 19 I unexpectedly and unplanned(edly?) did a photoshoot for a workplace magazine. Back then I had long emo hair.
During the photoshoot they suggested they make my hair curly, which I thought was going to be pretty lame, but was happy to go with it. I actually quite liked the outcome...
So from then I was a guy with curly hair. The photographer suggested I get an agent, and put me in touch with one, and that is how I got into doing some modelling. If they needed someone kind of studenty-looking, I had the hair for it. I wasn't particularly good at it, it was all down to the hair.
And I had that hair for many years. Arguably for too long. When I was 28, with a manbun, I was starting to realise I'm in risk of becoming the 50 year old that's holding onto their youth by having a ponytail... it really hits home when you're able to take a picture like this...
You know it's no longer cool when you're also a fat c**t. It was time for a change. I started going gradually shorter (my hair, not my stature).
But I wasn't ready to give up doing stuff with my hair. I had always wanted to try different colours, and at this point I was pushing 30, and every year I left it would make me look even more like a dick if I were to do it. So I went for it.
I tried blonde...
Silver/purple...
Blue...
White...
And even pink/red... (actually, this is the last time I saw my nan before she died, introducing Cato to her)
And once I'd finally gotten it out of my system, I went back to normal.
It was a fun few months, but I was mostly worried about damaging my hair by keep bleaching it. Especially considering you're not supposed to have it on your scalp, but it was too much effort not to, so I went for it (and yes, it burns). If it wasn't so much effort I'd alternate between brown and silver.
But then one day something happened. I was blissfully minding my own business, when I see a picture Brandi had taken, and I had a very obvious bald spot. I thought it was a trick of the camera. I couldn't be going bald. My mom and dad both have good hair, and hair was my thing. It was only one day later that my sister said I seemed like I was "thinning on top".
When I got home I decided to take a look. Until that point I hadn't. I hadn't even considered going bald. I thought only bald people went bald, and I wasn't a bald person. I held the camera up to the mirror, and saw this.
... What the fook is that, right? It looks like I intentionally had a combover. I had never knew, because it was kind of hiding behind me. Maybe other bald people didn't realise? Maybe they too would be gutted when they find out?
My mom was sympathetic. She had noticed. She bought me some soap that is supposed to help. Brandi had already searched for how much hair transplants cost (before I had even realised, because she knew I'd be upset).
So now things have changed. What once was part of me has an expiry date, which I didn't know. It was kind of like finding out my best friend, hair, had cancer.
I didn't, don't, know who or what to blame. I went back through pictures to figure out when this happened, and how I didn't notice. I looked at pictures from 2016, and I could see it a little lighter on top. It felt like that scene in The Truman Show when he realises his wife didn't love him, and crossed her fingers at the wedding. Maybe it's the kids fault? But no, they're awesome. Maybe it's work? But I don't really get stressed... It could be to do with bleaching a shit load of times, but surely not. Though I guess it doesn't really matter what caused it, that is the case, and my hair, much like the hare, which seemed so promising, will eventually lose the race... of time... to the tortoise (my scalp).
The above picture was a year ago. The bald spot actually seems to be a little better (thanks mom's soap!) and the hair loss had seemed to have slowed. Maybe I was out of the woods, and could live with being a bit "thin on top".
That is until recently. I got my hair cut about a month ago, and today it's pretty much the same length. If I go in water the remaining bits group together and looks like I've only got a few strands.
But I can't be upset about it forever. For now I'll keep using my hair soap, and research how to look good bald. And keep working on the business, to hopefully get enough money to do what Elon Musk did...
